MATCHBOX THE MOVIE Review

Sean grew up in Ohio loving Matchbox cars with his friends Aimee, Ted, Charmaine, and Crosby. They call themselves the Matchbox Gang. Aimee's uncle, Smalley (Bill Camp), runs a garage in town, and the kids love talking about Matchbox cars with him. Sean acquires Aimee's dream Matchbox car, a blue 1969 Camaro. But he's got a crush on her and chickens out when he has a chance to gift it to her. Shortly after, Sean finds out his dad landed a job in Chicago.

His dad tells him it'll be good for all of them. A chance to leave Ohio and get a fresh start. Sean doesn't care about that; he doesn't want to leave his friends. Sitting on the front stoop of his house, he throws the Camaro Matchbox. We then jump 28 years into the future, where a vehicle is tumbling through the desert.

The lead vehicle in the desert, being chased by what we're led to believe are terrorists, is being driven by Sean (John Cena), and he's transporting a nuclear warhead. Surrounded now on the edge of a cliff, he throws his vehicle in reverse, backs off the edge, and, using the vehicle's winch like a grappling hook, miraculously lands safely in the sand below. Sean delivers the stolen warhead to a drug lord. He's then told by his superiors at the CIA to lay low for ten days and do whatever makes him happy.

Back in Ohio, we see current-day Aimee (Jessica Biel) running test laps as a stock car driver. Crosby (Sam Richardson) is working construction. Charmaine (Teyonah Parris) is doing traffic reports while flying a helicopter, and Ted (Arturo Castro) is a chemistry teacher. Aimee goes back to Smalley's garage one day and finds him dead at his desk.

Sean, enjoying his ten days of laying low, sees on social media that Smalley passed away. He travels to Ohio for the funeral but stays hidden. Afterwards, Sean goes to Smalley's garage, where Aimee initially thinks he's an intruder. Aimee talks Sean into coming out for drinks, reuniting the Matchbox Gang.

The group catches up and decides to take a round of shots before closing their tab for the night. Before Sean can pay the bill, they all become woozy and are fading fast. They've been drugged, and when they come to, they're all restrained in a cargo plane.

Where are they headed? And why are they there?

No, seriously, why? Why is this a film that exists?

I don’t know about you, but when I think of Matchbox cars, I certainly don’t think of CIA agents. The story feels like it was made up as they went along. 

"What situation can we insert a vehicle into that has its own Matchbox car? Cool, that’s what we’ll do." End of creative session.

Next creative session: "We want an ensemble, not for this to be a Cena star vehicle. So, he’ll go back to his hometown, and all of his friends will get drugged with him."

I like Cena as an actor, especially since he’s shown his comedic chops. But once the Matchbox Gang is drugged, things devolve into John Cena reliving his time as John Triton in The Marine. It’s a shame too, because the supporting cast is pretty decent overall. We get Jessica Biel in her first feature since 2017's Shock and Awe, and Sam Richardson, who is effortlessly funny in everything. While I’m not as familiar with Arturo Castro or Teyonah Parris, they competently deliver what little is asked of them. There’s no real depth to any character, so getting the audience to tag along on their two-hour adventure is a tall ask.

Yeah, there are plenty of action sequences, and they’re all serviceable. But there’s nothing here that breaks new ground or makes you go “whoa." Just before the ten-minute mark, one of the vehicles in pursuit of Sean hits a hill, and the vehicle rolls in the air as we get a Wilhelm scream. Why? I guess because someone needed their Wilhelm fix. My biggest gripe is with the action scenes when they’re in vehicles. In 2026, you’d think it’d be easier to have it not be painfully obvious to a viewer when a soundstage is being used.

Mattel is still chasing the dragon that was Barbie, and seeing that this was also a Skydance production feels like a horrifying preview of what we can expect now that Warner Bros. and Paramount are under the Skydance umbrella.

There's at least one positive to come from Matchbox the Movie: most Apple Original Films are here today and forgotten tomorrow.

🍿 SCORE = 20 / 100